Visitors -- Part 1: Affirmation

In a variety of ways, I've been playing hostess lately.  Wonderful Friends of many years came to visit for a long weekend. While they didn't stay with us, we planned all our time together, as we have so little of it.  Then German Daughter (and Boyfriend) came to stay for a few days before taking flight back across the Pond.

Wonderful Friends are husband and wife K & K (Godparents to D#1) and son is S, my Godson -- he of the wild quilt presented as a high school graduation gift.  D#2's Godparents were very old friends with family connections back to my father's college years and are, all too predictably, no longer with us.  When we were planning the visit, K & K asked if D#2 would like them to become a more-or-less "official" pair of Godparents, no disrespect intended to the originals, of course.  While there is no longer any potential need for them to truly take a parental role and raise my daughters, we all welcomed the idea of somehow sealing this long-standing relationship and strengthening the connections between our two families.

I talked to our pastor about it and he suggested we do an affirmation of baptism service following the regular Sunday service that we planned to attend during our visit.  We were all quite agreeable that this was an excellent suggestion!   On Sunday, August12, we gathered at the font in St. Paul's and reaffirmed her baptism, with K & K as sponsors, and then we remembered our respective baptisms.

Thanks be to God!

Where am I now?

I am here.  My first post on this blog was dated 6/23/2010 -- just over two years ago.  I chose the name "howdidIgethere" because I found myself somewhere that I never expected to be: on my own again after my husband of ~20 years had suddenly announced he didn't want to be married to me anymore.  I was also, at that time, newly moved into my home which I bought after having to sell the home I lived in with my (now-ex) husband and our daughters.

The blog was started as a part of my Day Zero Project, as a way to keep track of my progress, since I found myself a little lacking in focus and direction, which were helped along by the Project.  With a "new" home, one daughter mostly out of the house, the other headed to college in the fall, I had the opportunity -- and the need -- to set down some new roots as a single person, as well as continuing to heal and put back the pieces from the devastation I'd experienced.  

I have now been divorced for a little over a year.  D#1 graduated from college last year and recently took a job in Washington DC, while D#2 is halfway through her college years.  I am close to them both and see them or communicate with them regularly.   My home is slowly becoming "mine", reflecting my style and personality.  (Notice the purple chairs on the porch!)   In addition to my family (blood and "adopted:"), I've been blessed with a group of friends who I've known for a number of years, joined by some new ones who know me only as a single person.   I have traveled on business but also visited D#1 when she studied in Egypt, and vacationed by myself to attend the major quilt show in Paducah, Kentucky.   D#1 and I are now planning to spend Christmas in London, meeting D#2 when she finishes her fall semester studying there at Queen Mary College.  

In general, I can say honestly that I like where I am (both physically and mentally) right now.  Given where I was almost 5 years ago, when my life had been shattered, I believe I have made incredible progress in re-creating a good life from those shards. I no longer think of myself as a "left-behind spouse" but just as a single adult, with almost-grown children.  I believe I have been a good role model for my daughters, as well as being a source of strength and support for them as they faced the changes in their lives.

"How did I get here?" is still a valid question.  But "here" is not the same place I was back then.  And I no longer ask it out of confusion  Instead, I look back on where I was then, and where I am now, and vow to continue on the path that got me this far.   Thank you to all of you who were there for me at any time in the past.  I am blessed to have you in my life.

Edited to add this, with my deepest thanks.  It was posted to my Facebook page by Nancy and seems to sum it up succinctly.

Helping NEDA fight ED

Cryptic?  
Translation: 
NEDA = National Eating Disorders Association
ED = Eating Disorder(s)

On Sunday, older daughter and I are walking in Washington DC as part of the effort to increase awareness of these deadly mental diseases.  If you want to help, you can contribute here.  As a bonus you get to see recent photos of my beautiful younger daughter who continues to fight for her recovery every day.

Here's a photo of all three of us taken a couple of years ago.

I am so blessed. 

Psalm 121:8

"The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore."  (NRSV)

Psalm 121, verse 8 was the first of the scripture readings, done at my front door, during the house blessing that took place on Saturday afternoon, October 16th.  The service took us to each of the rooms of the house (some more than once!) and marked the activity performed there with a Bible verse or two and a short prayer, followed by all guests singing the Taize chant "Ubi caritas".   The procession through the house took us from "where visitors are welcomed" to "where pets sleep" and many places in between -- including the bathroom!  

The service was lovely and gave me an extra special feeling about the house, which has been our home for about six months.  Both daughters came from college so they could participate in the service.  Though neither one really knew what to expect (I don't think most of those present did!), both daughters told me afterwards that it was more meaningful than they'd thought it would be. 

Perhaps the best part of the weekend, though, was when I said something about "our new house" and my daughter replied that it didn't feel like a "new" house, just like "our" house.  I am truly blessed in many ways.